Greetings! I am happy to report that this lazy mom is still running and still keeping the kitchen clean, with the help of the Dear Husband and the children. It took a few days for them to notice that the kitchen was suspiciously clean every evening. At one point, someone was curious enough to ask, "Do we have company coming over tonight?" I replied, trying to not sound offended, "Not that I know of." And of course you know what the curious spectator said next...."Then why are you cleaning the kitchen?" Sigh. I didn't know whether to laugh about this or cry. Sometimes the truth hurts, but then again, laughter is the best medicine. So I laughed and explained my goal to go to bed with a clean kitchen every night for 66 days. After a long silence, a small voice asked, "Do we have to help?" "No, but it would be nice. I replied" At which point I turned around, and discovered that the room was empty. Apparently misery doesn't love company.
However, I have discovered that I'm not actually miserable. It really only takes a few minutes to clean the kitchen because surprise, surprise, now that I KNOW that I HAVE to clean it every night, I keep it cleaner throughout the day, AND I have been focusing more on "cleaning as I go" while preparing supper, AND I do typically require the young 'uns to help out with the dishes as long as I am not being lazy and putting it off until the next morning, AND I have a husband who helps out. I am blessed in that way for sure! Last night, I was sooooo tired from my run (seriously, I am not joking about that) that he told me to go ahead and get in the shower while he cleaned the kitchen for me. He was watching a "very important basketball game" at the time, so I proceeded to ask him if he was sure that he was going to do the kitchen, because if not, I really needed to get it done before my shower, or I would be very tempted not to get it done at all, and it absolutely must be clean TONIGHT. He looked at me like he had never seen me before in his life.
So the kitchen project is moving along quite nicely, if I do say so myself. As far as the fitness project, I did come across a minor problem. Have I mentioned the treadmill in my basement? Have I mentioned how much I detest the treadmill in my basement? Have I mentioned how much of my last 2 years of laziness I have blamed on the detested treadmill in my basement? Due to the fact that it is January, and we are on a tight budget, I knew I was going to have to face the treadmill in my basement.
I'm not sure if I have mentioned that I am actually a registered dietitian, specializing mainly in helping folks lose weight. I almost exclusively focus on helping them learn to do this through proper diet, but of course, I encourage them to exercise as well. Eat less, move more, blah, blah, blah. Yes, most people have heard it before, but I have discovered that everyone who comes through my door (including myself) carries a list of "problems" that they have decided are the reason for their current state of affairs. Many of these problems are legitimate roadblocks. Many are excuses. The bottom line is this: YOU HAVE TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. You have to solve the problem whether it is a true roadblock or a finely crafted excuse. You have to solve the problem because to make a change in your life, something has to change.
So after taking my friend's advice about never going to bed with a clean kitchen, I took my own advice about solving the problem.
Problem/Roadblock/Excuse (as heard in the run-on sentence form that things in my head tend to take): I detest the treadmill in my basement and really don't want to try to rework the budget to be able to join a gym right now and even if I did none of the gyms around here provide childcare which means I would have to get up really early in the morning to go and I am just not a morning person at all so then I would just be wasting all of that money anyway.
Solution: Make the treadmill in my basement less detestable.
Solve the problem, solve the problem, solve the problem. Sounds simple enough. My first thoughts were to watch TV or listen to awesome "pump you up" tunes while running on the treadmill. However, my family was not enthused about the volume the TV required to be heard over the roaring treadmill. Ear buds and some rockin' music with a great beat is a wonderful solution for some people, but for me, music only really helps when I am already in shape and can run HARD. In my current state, music like that just reminds me how slow and slug-like I am and it literally makes me want to cry and give up. Solve the problem, solve the problem, solve the problem. It was at this point, I remembered that my crazy-running sister used to listen to audio books while doing her long marathon training runs alone. Audio books!!! Yes!!! Books that I can only listen too if and when I am working out!!!
It only took me 3 hours to figure out how to make this happen without spending ANY money! I felt a powerful urge to just give up somewhere in the 2nd hour when my neglected five- and one-year-old began to demand some attention, but I turned on a movie, handed them a box of crackers, and pushed on. Yay, technologically challenged, me! I solved the problem and now I am dying to get going on my second "audio-run", so the rest of the story will have to wait for another post. I'm going to bump up to 3 miles this week, but its okay, because my book awaits. Well hello, Mr. Treadmill. So we meet again.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
Embracing the 12-Minute Mile
I accomplished my first run this weekend, and I couldn't have picked a nicer day. Beautiful, 50-degree weather here in the Midwest! That seems crazy for January, but is really par for the course around here, as is the high of 25 degrees that is forecast for today! One extreme to the other, kind of like me. I was just grateful that I was able to run outside and not have to face the dreaded treadmill in my basement. I laced up my 2-year-old Avias, donned my 15-year-old Nike windbreaker, and headed out with a goal of 2 miles without stopping, no matter how slow I had to go. Since I hadn't run in over 2 years, other than a brief 5-week period of motivation this past summer, I tried to keep my expectations low. This was good, because even with low expectations, the 12-minute mile left me feeling a little discouraged. At first.
I have decided to join the modern age and use the "Map My Run" app on my phone, to track my route, distance, speed, and calorie burn, so I could see my pace right from the start. My thoughts went something like this: 12:00 pace??? What!?! Are you kidding me??? Grrrrrr. It made me angry to be going so slow, so I picked it up to a 10:30 pace, which mentally made me feel a lot better, for about 1 minute. At that point I realized that I was going to have to pick one goal for the day, either run 2 miles without stopping, or run at 10:30 pace (10:30 meaning a 10.5 minute mile for those who may not know much about running). So I decided to embrace the 12-minute mile rather than beat myself up over it. After all, its a lot faster than not running at all, which is what I have been doing! I slowed back down, put my phone in my pocket, and tried to relax and enjoy a run with no performance expectations. I embraced the 12-minute mile.
I took a route around the pond in the middle of town, so enjoyed the scenery, the sounds of birds, and the cool air in my lungs. It did feel good to just be MOVING! And when I did check my phone at the approximate 2-mile mark, I discovered I was already there, and my pace had averaged out to 11:30! I felt pretty good, but resisted the urge to run the rest of the way home, knowing if I wanted to get another run in over the next couple of days that wasn't completely miserable, I needed to not overdo the first day. So I walked the rest of the way home contemplating what I really want to try to achieve in my quest to get fit. As much as I would love to come to a place where I can just enjoy an activity in the moment, as I did with that first run, I know myself well enough to realize that I WILL need to set a performance or competition goal to keep moving forward in the long run. I have seen that as a negative thing in the past, but it is who I am, so I need to embrace that too. Let it work FOR me instead of AGAINST me as I realize trying to be something I'm not just causes the paralyzing anxiety that leads to my laziness. All in all, it was a great first run.
2 miles...check! Embracing the 12-minute mile.....check! Waking up to a clean kitchen for 3 mornings in a row.....check!
I have decided to join the modern age and use the "Map My Run" app on my phone, to track my route, distance, speed, and calorie burn, so I could see my pace right from the start. My thoughts went something like this: 12:00 pace??? What!?! Are you kidding me??? Grrrrrr. It made me angry to be going so slow, so I picked it up to a 10:30 pace, which mentally made me feel a lot better, for about 1 minute. At that point I realized that I was going to have to pick one goal for the day, either run 2 miles without stopping, or run at 10:30 pace (10:30 meaning a 10.5 minute mile for those who may not know much about running). So I decided to embrace the 12-minute mile rather than beat myself up over it. After all, its a lot faster than not running at all, which is what I have been doing! I slowed back down, put my phone in my pocket, and tried to relax and enjoy a run with no performance expectations. I embraced the 12-minute mile.
I took a route around the pond in the middle of town, so enjoyed the scenery, the sounds of birds, and the cool air in my lungs. It did feel good to just be MOVING! And when I did check my phone at the approximate 2-mile mark, I discovered I was already there, and my pace had averaged out to 11:30! I felt pretty good, but resisted the urge to run the rest of the way home, knowing if I wanted to get another run in over the next couple of days that wasn't completely miserable, I needed to not overdo the first day. So I walked the rest of the way home contemplating what I really want to try to achieve in my quest to get fit. As much as I would love to come to a place where I can just enjoy an activity in the moment, as I did with that first run, I know myself well enough to realize that I WILL need to set a performance or competition goal to keep moving forward in the long run. I have seen that as a negative thing in the past, but it is who I am, so I need to embrace that too. Let it work FOR me instead of AGAINST me as I realize trying to be something I'm not just causes the paralyzing anxiety that leads to my laziness. All in all, it was a great first run.
2 miles...check! Embracing the 12-minute mile.....check! Waking up to a clean kitchen for 3 mornings in a row.....check!
Friday, January 18, 2013
The Best Advice I Never Took
I am a fan of advice. I like to give it. I like to get it. I have received a lot of advice over the years, some good, some bad, some I applied to my life, some I ignored, and some I ignored but thought it was good enough to pass on to others. "Ahhh, she's lazy and a hypocrite", you are probably thinking, but that would be incorrect. I may be lazy, but I am honest. So when giving this type of advice, I always include a disclaimer indicating that it is advice I WISH I had followed. "The Best Advice I Never Took" was given to my dear husband and I as part of a game at a couples wedding shower. The advisor was the hostess, who happened to be the mother of a dear mutual friend, as well as the owner of a beautiful and immaculate home, so she most certainly had the credentials to be doling out cleaning and organizing advice.
On a quick side note, I thought about giving this post the title, "The Worst Advice I Ever Took", which is actually the opposite of the actual title, in case you didn't notice. That is a very entertaining story, but unfortunately, it has nothing to do with the focus of this blog, AND it would involve airing dirty marital laundry, AND it might hurt the advisor's feelings if the advisor ever happened to read this and recognize the advice as his/her own. Did you see how I just hid even the gender of the advisor, thus reducing the odds even further that I might hurt his/her feelings? That is good advice for anyone.
So without further adieu......."The Best Advice I Never Took" i-is...... NEVER GO TO BED WITH A DIRTY KITCHEN! (fanfare). You're disappointed aren't you. Sorry, its the truth. To some of you, this may be common sense, but if you are lazy like me, it is advice. More nights than I care to admit, I go to bed with a sinkful of dirty dishes. Did I mention that in the "confessions" post? Sometimes, it is due to legitimate busy-ness, and with 4 kids, evenings are definitely always busy around here. Which leads to the next confession that I "forgot" to confess earlier: I watch waaaaaaay too much TV. Hopefully that is not a huge surprise, because don't all lazy people watch too much TV? Once the kids are in bed, even if the kitchen is still messy, I will plop on the couch and watch nothing in particular, sometimes for several hours. Ugh, confession can be ugly.
Going to bed with a dirty kitchen means waking up to a dirty kitchen. I could go on and on listing the reasons a dirty kitchen first thing in the morning is bad idea, including the fact that its just kind of disgusting. But in an effort to keep this post at a reasonable length, I will get to the point. It lets the whole day get away from you before you've begun.Since I am a runner. Since I used to be a runner. Since I am a runner at heart, I will use a running analogy. It's like lining up on the starting line for the 400m dash and choosing to stand there for 5 seconds after the gun goes off. You might end up running a good time. You might end up beating a few people. If you're really talented, you might even win. But you'll never know how good you could have been if you had started with the gun like everyone else. When you start your day with a dirty kitchen, you have all of the usual things on your list for the day, PLUS you have to clean your kitchen! Playing catch-up is a dangerous way to try to win a race and a ridiculous way to start your day, because sometimes, you never catch up! And when you never catch up with your daily responsibilities, do you know what happens at the end of the day? A little TV sounds good, a few potato chips, a couple of chocolate bars to push away the anxiety about everything you didn't get done. The next thing you know, you're not only lazy, but ten pounds overweight too, and your kitchen is still a mess!
So, as my first step to conquering my lazy tendencies, I am going to finally consistently put into practice, the best advice I ever received. I have heard that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, however, it appears this is a myth. After reading a couple of articles that may or may not be reliable, it appears that 66 days is a better bet. You can check out one that summarizes what I found at http://blogs.ucl.ac.uk/hbrc/2012/06/29/busting-the-21-days-habit-formation-myth/. Am I really going to vow to go to bed with a clean kitchen for 66 days in a row? YOU BETCHA!! Starting now! You didn't think I cleaned the kitchen before I started writing did you? And if that's not biting off more than I can chew, tomorrow morning, I will literally be "Lazy Mom Running", because I will be going on a run. To all of my lazy friends out there, think about picking one of your lazy habits to tackle along with me. I would love to hear about what you've chosen...........if I survive my run. Stay tuned.
On a quick side note, I thought about giving this post the title, "The Worst Advice I Ever Took", which is actually the opposite of the actual title, in case you didn't notice. That is a very entertaining story, but unfortunately, it has nothing to do with the focus of this blog, AND it would involve airing dirty marital laundry, AND it might hurt the advisor's feelings if the advisor ever happened to read this and recognize the advice as his/her own. Did you see how I just hid even the gender of the advisor, thus reducing the odds even further that I might hurt his/her feelings? That is good advice for anyone.
So without further adieu......."The Best Advice I Never Took" i-is...... NEVER GO TO BED WITH A DIRTY KITCHEN! (fanfare). You're disappointed aren't you. Sorry, its the truth. To some of you, this may be common sense, but if you are lazy like me, it is advice. More nights than I care to admit, I go to bed with a sinkful of dirty dishes. Did I mention that in the "confessions" post? Sometimes, it is due to legitimate busy-ness, and with 4 kids, evenings are definitely always busy around here. Which leads to the next confession that I "forgot" to confess earlier: I watch waaaaaaay too much TV. Hopefully that is not a huge surprise, because don't all lazy people watch too much TV? Once the kids are in bed, even if the kitchen is still messy, I will plop on the couch and watch nothing in particular, sometimes for several hours. Ugh, confession can be ugly.
Going to bed with a dirty kitchen means waking up to a dirty kitchen. I could go on and on listing the reasons a dirty kitchen first thing in the morning is bad idea, including the fact that its just kind of disgusting. But in an effort to keep this post at a reasonable length, I will get to the point. It lets the whole day get away from you before you've begun.
So, as my first step to conquering my lazy tendencies, I am going to finally consistently put into practice, the best advice I ever received. I have heard that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, however, it appears this is a myth. After reading a couple of articles that may or may not be reliable, it appears that 66 days is a better bet. You can check out one that summarizes what I found at http://blogs.ucl.ac.uk/hbrc/2012/06/29/busting-the-21-days-habit-formation-myth/. Am I really going to vow to go to bed with a clean kitchen for 66 days in a row? YOU BETCHA!! Starting now! You didn't think I cleaned the kitchen before I started writing did you? And if that's not biting off more than I can chew, tomorrow morning, I will literally be "Lazy Mom Running", because I will be going on a run. To all of my lazy friends out there, think about picking one of your lazy habits to tackle along with me. I would love to hear about what you've chosen...........if I survive my run. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Confessions of a Lazy Mom
I am lazy. L-A-Z-Y, lazy. I am out of shape. More often than not my house is a mess---not the general clutter generated by small children in a small house, but actually dirty---crumbs, cobwebs, fingerprints. I haven't worn my hair down and styled since some time before Halloween and I believe my last haircut was in July. I haven't spent any consistent quality time in the bible since before the baby was born, and the "baby" will be 16 months old on Friday. Don't get me wrong; I AM busy, which can explain some of the general clutter in my life, but the fact of the matter is, I am lazy.
I know lazy is a strong word but I am not using it lightly or in jest. I am admitting, out loud (okay, not actually out loud, but you get the idea) that I have a major, core character flaw and laziness is its name. I am lazy based on the basic, definition of the word:
la·zy
I know lazy is a strong word but I am not using it lightly or in jest. I am admitting, out loud (okay, not actually out loud, but you get the idea) that I have a major, core character flaw and laziness is its name. I am lazy based on the basic, definition of the word:
la·zy
/ˈlāzē/
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In my spare time, which DOES exist, I AM the above definition! Since I know and believe that the first step to change is admitting you have a problem, I have tried to confess this before---to family, to friends, to strangers I make conversation with in random places. Generally, people laugh me off or pat my hand and tell me I'm doing a great job. After all, I am a wife, mother of four, part-time registered dietitian, Sunday school teacher and volunteer at church...... My life certainly has enough people and activities to keep me more than busy, and I do appreciate that the people who know and love me want to make excuses for me. But even legitimate excuses are still excuses. I am lazy.
It is odd really, because looking back on my life, I have accomplished many impressive, interesting, and worthwhile things; therefore, I do not usually appear lazy to the casual observer, or often, even to those close to me. Most people who know me, especially in my younger years, would say I was highly motivated and extrememly driven. I was valedictorian of my high school class, was a scholarship track athlete at a Division I University and graduated with a degree in Dietetics. I have run a marathon, gone skydiving, married my high school sweetheart, birthed four children without the aid of an epidural, and developed a real relationship with Jesus Christ thanks to a wonderful group of ladies who took the time to introduce me to him. I do valuable and worthwhile things every day at home, at work, at church; but in my spare time.....in my down time......I am lazy.
I have lots of great ideas and great intentions for the future as well. I want to compete in a triathlon, repaint my living room, take time to visit people at our local nursing home each week, plant a garden, teach my girls to sew, create scrapbooks for my children and grandchildren to "remember when", adopt an orphan, plan a surprise party for my husband's 40th........What? He turned 40 last November? Uhhhhhh, okay, that is a perfect example of what I am talking about. Great ideas, great intentions, very little follow through. Why is this???? I do have some insight into the deeper answer, as why we do the things we do is not always simply explained, but that is for another day, or days. For now, the simple answer WILL do........at my core, I am a lazy person. I label myself lazy because it is true.
Ouch. The truth hurts.
Therefore, today, as I take the first step of the rest of my race called life, I ask that you join me. My only promise is to do my best to be honest as I attempt to tackle projects and goals that would typically send me into a frozen state of anxiety and indecision. If you are lazy too, let's support and encourage each other on in this race. If you are a "get it done" type, then please offer suggestions and insight. (please?)
Whew! Confession is good for the soul! Now that I have all of that off my chest, I need to finish getting the Christmas tree down and put away. Why are you laughing? Do you think that I'm kidding? If I weren't too lazy to figure out how to post pics on here, I would prove it.
I am a lazy mom running........where to, remains to be seen.
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